Near and escalators
by Royal Puppet Master
Summary: Near had a reason for staying on the ground. He had a reason for everything he did. Every logical mind did. His reason for never leaving the ground was simple. He didn't like escalators.


Disclaimer. I do not own Death Note. Nor any kind of pet. I wish I had a cat. We can't have pets. :(

A.N./ This is apart of the I dare you to be a better auther. I chose escalators. :)

Near had a reason for staying on the ground. He had a reason for everything he did. Every logical mind did. His reason for never leaving the ground was simple. He didn't like escalators. Now that might not make sense to anyone else but it made perfect sense to him. Those escalators were machines of death. He almost had his short life taken from him because of those damned machines. He vowed never to leave the ground after that. See, his reasoning was absolute like a certain eccentric man he was aiming or the title of. No one could tell him wrong.

One day he decided to face his fear though. He decided to give the escalators of death a go. He went to the mall with Mello because of begging which he was not proud of. The blonde tyrant ate it up. He enjoyed seeing Near beg for things. He was a stupid sadist. Not that NEAR personally beleived this. Of course HE would never start rumors about the blonde being a sadist and making him beg for things he wasn't proud of. NEAR would never do that. Linda would though. So anyways, he went to the mall with Mello to face his fear of escalator of death. He didn't know his way around and AGAIN had to beg the blonde to show him the way.

"Mello, pretty please will you show me the way to the escalator?" He used his best begging voice which was as monotone as his regular voice but with a hint of sarcasm.

"What do you call me, Near?" Near inwardly rolled his eyes. He actually hated begging for these things but it had to be done if he was to face his fear(s). More than one escalator had to be concored.

"Master, pretty please with a cherry on top, will you take me to the escalator?" He saw the blonde smirk and knew he had gotten his way or had befallen some mishap that would surely get him killed.

"Yes, my little Nia." Near breathed a relived sigh. He wasn't going to die yet. He still hadn't made it to the escalator. Mello and Near made their way to the death trap err... escalator. Near found himself soon in sight of the horrible machine who almost claimed his life. It was waiting for him. It was staring him down trying to gain a psychological advantage. Near found himself scared out of his wits which rarely happened. The only time this happened was when he came face to face with traps of death, escalators, and when Mello had an new idea. Mello getting ideas was about as bad as world war three. In fact, Near wouldn't be suprised if Mello would cause world war three. The blonde was an evil master mind.

"Near, you alright?" Mello evidently saw the death glare Near had been giving the escalator.

"Fine, it is time for me to face my fears. I will get onto the escalator." Mello gave an understanding nod.

"'Kay then. I'm going to go look for the candy store. I heard they had a new shipment of chocolates." Near nodded and Mello trotted off kind of like a horse. Near ignored the horse like Mello and continued to glare at the death trap/escalator. He silently wished Mello would come and save him from this monster but he knew other wise. He was going to beat this fear of escalators and save face. He couldn't very well go back to Wammy's a loser. That would be unacceptable. L's number one succesor couldn't lose. He just couldn't no matter what Mello said about who was number one in bed.

Near approached the death trap/escalator. He was going to get this over with. He stepped onto the first stair. Unfortuantely he found himself in a rather awkward position. He just happend to put his other foot onto the third step instead of the first like his first foot. It was rather difficult. The escalator was trying to kill him again. He put his hand onto the first step to keep himself balanced. It proved to be no avail. He was stuck in an uncomfortable situation where anyone under him could see his bum. Not something he wanted to do but he was going to master this escalator trick and learn to stand on his own two feet. Well, he might have Mello carry him every now and then. He liked it especially when Mello carried him to bed and... Not going to finish for those still innocent minds. Ha! Like anyone's mind is innocent these days. Ignoring that thought Near was coming to the end of the escalator and had no idea how to get off.

Near almost started panicking. Almost being the key word. He knew better than to panick during this sort of situation. Though, his miond was very close to panicking when he saw his sleave getting caught in the top of the death trap. This was exactly like what happened when he was seven and he almost died then. Not really died. He had a panick attack. Those darned things made him lose his calm composure. He needed to calm down. All he had to do was take off the shirt. Near quickly took off his shirt. He nearly escaped his death from this machine.

Mello walked by to see a shirtless Near. Not neccassarily a bad thing but not good inside the mall unless they were in a dressing room together. Mello walked over to Near to see why he was shirtless.

"Umm, Near?" Near looked at Mello very glad to see his almost knight in shining armer. He wasn't though. Mello could have been a few moment earlier. Near wouldn't have minded that a bit but as always he had to fend for himself. he looked up at Mello from the ground. He must look a real mess if Mello was asking questions.

"Yes, Mello." He wasn't in any sense curious as to what Mello would say. He knew it would be about his terrible condition.

"Why are you shirtless?" Near rolled his eyes. That was obvious.

"It's obvious. I am shirtless because the death machine tried to kill me." Near pointed to the escalator while giving his escalator. Mello gave him a funny look before answering him.

"Uhmm, you mean the escalator?" Near nodded. He hated explaining things. If people couldn't understand it the first time he usually didn't bother explaining it again.

"Of course. That machine is a death trap. It has tried to kill me twice now." Mello kept giving him funny looks throughout his explaination. Near couldn't see what was so odd about his explaination. It made perfect sense in his head.

"Uhmm, Near?"

"Yes, Mello?"

"Shut up." Near nodded. He was confused as to why Mello said shut up. It didn't matter though. He and Mello went home and Near never went near another death trap again.

A.N./ I don't care if I win. This story isn't very good but I had fun writing it. I hate escalators myself. They scare the living hell out of me. I don't like them at all. They are like little death traps that want to steal your soul. Fun time writing about them though. I was playing the wii while doing this. 


End file.
